Master's Programs

First-gen voices: Lynn Koerbel’s non-traditional journey to higher education

As we celebrate First-Gen Day, the Division of Master’s and Professional Programs highlights inspiring stories from first-generation faculty and staff. Lynn Koerbel, Assistant Director of MBSR Teacher Training, shares her journey toward earning a master’s degree, reflecting on her non-traditional path, struggles with self-doubt and the rewarding process of finding a sense of belonging.

Earning my degrees was transformational. It helped me shed the heavy burden of feeling “not good enough” that had weighed on me for years. While these degrees opened professional doors, they also provided something even more valuable: a sense of belonging and self-belief. I came to realize that I no longer had to second-guess my abilities. I had proven, both to myself and to others, that I had what it takes to succeed.

Finding my way

Both of my parents were highly successful professionals. In 1953, at just 19 years old, my father began climbing telephone poles with the Pennsylvania Telephone Company. By the time he took early retirement at age 55 from Bell Labs, he had worked his way up the corporate ladder and finished his career as a top-producing account executive. My mother, one of the earliest working moms in my neighborhood, served as a teacher’s aide in a Montessori school. Recognizing her potential, the school principal offered her financial and professional mentoring to train at the Montessori Institute to become a full Montessori teacher. Remarkably, she was one of the first teachers accepted into that training program without a college degree.

Through my parents, I saw firsthand that much could be accomplished without a traditional higher education. As I approached high school graduation, I viewed college as a means to gain independence and learn on my own terms. However, I didn’t anticipate the gripping, undiagnosed depression and profound loneliness I would experience in such a stratified community, compounded by the fact that I was coming out as a lesbian. These factors, during a time when adolescent mental health was largely overlooked, made my attempts at college incredibly challenging. In addition, my parents did not know how to support me since they had never faced this experience themselves. They often suggested I drop out — a decision I ultimately made. 

I struggled for years, attending three different colleges and universities before finally discovering my passion for massage therapy and bodywork. Although the training I pursued was not academically validated, it led to a fulfilling work life and a successful career in alternative healthcare.

Rediscovering college in my 40’s

After two decades in the field of holistic health, I began to experience hand pain and a sense of restlessness, leaving me in a quandary. The very work I loved was causing me physical pain. While I was generally quite happy, I occasionally grappled with self-doubt, which always drew my thoughts back to my unfinished college degree. It was around this time that I learned about the University Without Walls (UWW) program at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Designed for individuals like me who had some college experience, were working adults and wished to complete their undergraduate degrees, it was conveniently located nearby. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to attend an orientation.

“ I distinctly remember leaving that orientation with a sense of certainty: the cat was out of the bag, and there was no going back. This was a program I could pursue, and from that moment on, it felt like a fire had been ignited within me. ”

Two powerful factors made this possible.

First, I was required to submit a portfolio that connected my work and life to academic learning. I crafted a 167-page “Prior Learning Portfolio” filled with case studies, holistic health research and reflective analyses of my work over the past 20 years. It was a dream come true, allowing me to demonstrate that my critical thinking and writing skills were indeed “good enough” to earn a degree. The process of consolidating my knowledge was deeply meaningful, and I discovered new language and perspectives on my work. I earned 33 credits for the portfolio.

Second, I was part of a cohort of about 15 other students who, like me, had attempted college multiple times, enjoyed successful careers and felt the stigma of not having completed their degrees. Together, we courageously invested in ourselves in a new way. We genuinely cared about each other’s success, providing emotional support as we listened, laughed and cried together over the course of those two years. They became my rock and a powerful source of healing from the isolation and depression I had experienced in my 20s.

The road to a master’s degree

After receiving my bachelor’s degree, I jokingly told myself that I shouldn’t let my newly acquired knowledge of APA citation formatting go to waste, so I decided to pursue a master’s degree. After some research, I chose public health, a field I didn’t know much about. At the same time, I was engaged in a program to learn how to teach mindfulness meditation, and that focus became the centerpiece of my Master of Public Health (MPH) in Community Health Education.

After completing my work at UWW, I was hired to teach in the “Prior Portfolio Writing” course that I had completed myself. It was a joy to support other adult learners through a process I knew well. I loved watching their lives come together in new ways, encouraging their writing and helping them build self-confidence and pride in their unique experiences and learning styles. 

Discovering my own sense of self worth

The path to college and a graduate degree was revolutionary for me. I proved that I could overcome a source of shame and stigma, having felt inadequate despite my satisfaction and success in the work I loved. It was less about being a first-generation student and more about the achievement of completing my degree. While that “piece of paper” opened doors, it also instilled the confidence to believe in myself, stop second-guessing my abilities and embrace the possibility of failure as part of the journey. Even now, almost 20 years after earning my MPH, I feel the weight of “not good enough” lifting.

“ I have a deeper sense of belonging and have earned something in the “real world” that truly matters — both in my professional life and for my sense of self. ”

My educational journey was about reclaiming my sense of self-worth. Although I found success in my work long before completing my formal education, finishing my degree provided me with newfound confidence. It wasn’t merely a piece of paper; it was proof that my way of learning and knowing had value. In all the roles I’ve taken on since, this expanded perspective has empowered me to encourage others to trust their own learning pathways.

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