Master's Programs

First-gen voices: Holly Brennan’s path to finding identity and belonging in academia

As we celebrate First-Gen Day, the Division of Master’s and Professional Programs highlights inspiring stories from first-generation faculty and staff. Holly Brennan, Graduate Admissions Counselor, shares her experiences navigating the challenges of higher education as a first-gen student and how they helped shape her journey and build her confidence.

Q: What does being a first-gen individual mean to you personally, and how has that identity shaped your journey, both academically and professionally?

Being a first-generation individual has been a unique journey of self-discovery and finding a sense of belonging.

I was never a high-achieving student, but I knew I wanted to go to college. My family was incredibly supportive, though they couldn’t offer guidance from personal experience. From the start, I tried to fit myself into a "practical" mold by choosing a pre-medical track. While I was far more interested in philosophy and the arts, pursuing the humanities with no clear career goals was seen as impractical — certainly not the path to a stable future.

I had no idea what building a stable career even meant, and by the end of my first semester, I found myself in an existential crisis. The structured path I had chosen wasn’t giving me the sense of fulfillment or belonging I sought; instead, it was harming my mental health and spirit. Still, I pressed on, thinking sheer determination would get me through. I failed both calculus and organic chemistry, but earned an A in a class ironically titled Lively Arts.

Nearly burnt out, I started to question whether I was cut out for college at all. My interests were too broad to be confined to a single path, and without guidance or role models, I seriously considered whether the emotional and financial costs were worth it. While I value education intrinsically, I came to realize that, for some, college often functions as a means to an end.

This disillusionment was pivotal. It made me realize that while it was a privilege to forge my own path, it was also a burden. In doing so, I had the opportunity to redefine my values and challenge traditional ideas of success and belonging. I transferred schools, abandoned the pre-medical dream and chose to major in philosophy and applied ethics. I grew more comfortable with uncertainty, often saying, though not always fully knowing: “Yes, my major is philosophy. No, I don’t know exactly what I want to do with it or where it will take me, but I’ll figure it out. And no, you don’t study to become a philosopher.”

Through facing other challenges like commuting, juggling responsibilities and maintaining my well-being, this newfound sense of belonging helped me redefine success. For me, success became about simply graduating without losing my sanity.

As graduation neared, I applied to graduate programs, but wasn’t accepted — and to my surprise, I was relieved. I loved studying philosophy, but continuing down that path didn’t feel quite right either. While this is a simplified version of my experience, which ranged from overwhelming and isolating to fulfilling, I graduated with a GPA above 3.0 and managed to keep (most of) my marbles intact. I’m still unsure whether I’ll apply to a master’s program, but I continue to research them, hoping that one day, I’ll find “the one.”

Navigating the professional world became another confusing learning curve, as I tried to prove endlessly how "transferable" my skills were. I sought advice and was often told that what I wanted was unrealistic or unattainable. I admit, my resume is quite the puzzle! I started working at a restaurant at 14, spent eight years at a hardware store before, during and after college, painted houses, repaired lamps and briefly worked as a studio assistant for a florist. Over the years, I sent thousands of job applications for positions I was qualified for — perhaps even overqualified for — but heard back from only a handful.

Now, working at an Ivy League institution — a place I once felt I had to "survive" — has been a powerful affirmation.

“ Despite not fitting traditional perceptions of what a student or professional should look like, I’ve found a path where I belong. My experiences are valued, and, most importantly, I no longer have to sacrifice my sense of self or well-being to succeed. ”

Over the years, I’ve become more empowered by accepting that this nebulous, non-linear and often chaotic process of “figuring it out” is part of the human journey — whether you identify as a first-generation person or not. As Heraclitus said, “The way up and the way down are one and the same.”

Q: Can you describe some of the unique challenges or barriers you faced as a first-gen student, and how did you overcome them?

As a first-gen student, I faced several unique challenges, including being low-income, a commuter and working full-time. Real-life circumstances — such as housing instability, health issues and even a car accident — sometimes prevented me from coming to campus at all. Thankfully, a few professors were understanding and forgiving, but my responsibilities as a person often overshadowed my identity and priorities as a student.

Between my job and the hour commute, it wasn’t feasible for me to spend extra time on campus. Coming in early, staying late to meet with advisers or engaging in social activities was not always possible. I quickly realized that if I had more time to focus solely on being a student, I could have taken full advantage of the resources available to me. But that wasn’t my reality.

I’m not sure I truly “overcame” these barriers. Instead, I learned to accept my situation without judging myself harshly for not being the most ambitious or high-performing student under those circumstances. My focus shifted to maintaining my mental health and well-being, rather than pushing myself to meet unrealistic expectations.

Q: As a first-gen staff member at Brown, how do you draw on your own experiences to support first-gen students here?

My experiences with long periods of uncertainty and instability, along with the lack of support from family, help me empathize deeply with first-gen students at Brown. I understand that being first-gen often goes hand in hand with qualities like independence, adaptability, resilience and self-motivation. I remind students of the power of these traits and encourage them to view them as valuable skills — ones that cannot be taught in a classroom and that many individuals with abundant resources may not fully grasp until much later in life.

I also recognize that, within the context of being first-gen, the challenges they face are often part of their normal reality. It’s only when they compare themselves to non-first-gen peers that they may feel a sense of being an “other.” I advocate for students to cultivate a strong sense of belonging, as I believe this is crucial for a fulfilling and enjoyable student experience.

Q: What resources or support systems at Brown are most helpful to first-gen students?

At Brown, several resources and support systems are particularly beneficial for first-gen students:

  1. U-FLi Center: This center is dedicated to supporting first-generation, low-income and marginalized students. It offers a welcoming space where students can find community, mentorship and resources tailored to their unique experiences.
  2. Center for Master’s Student Excellence: This team provides guidance and support for students navigating their academic and personal journeys. They can help first-gen students connect with opportunities and resources across campus.
  3. Counseling and psychological Services (CAPS): Mental health is crucial for academic success. CAPS offers counseling and workshops that can help first-gen students manage stress, anxiety and other challenges that may arise during their college experience.
  4. Peer support and student organizations: Engaging with other master’s students and joining organizations can foster a sense of belonging and community. Many organizations focus on first-gen issues, providing networking opportunities and a support network.
  5. Exploring classes outside your department: I encourage first-gen students to take advantage of the flexibility of Brown’s curriculum. Taking classes outside of your department can broaden your horizons, allow you to explore new interests and help you connect with different communities on campus.

Q: What advice would you give to current first-gen students who might be feeling overwhelmed or unsure of their path at Brown?

First and foremost, consider taking a philosophy class! It can provide valuable perspectives and help you develop critical thinking skills.

Practice mindfulness and learn the art of simply being. Remember, there is no opportunity or reward significant enough to justify sacrificing your well-being and spirit. Take care of yourself and recognize that you don’t need to have everything figured out all at once. Becoming comfortable with discomfort and uncertainty is essential; the future is inherently unpredictable.

Don’t hesitate to ask for help. There’s great bravery and vulnerability in reaching out for support, and you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Things will often work out one way or another, whether you worry about them or not, and the outcome might even exceed your expectations.

Cultivate an internal sense of self-worth and value that is not compromised by any academic setbacks or job performance.

“ Don’t let anyone dictate where you do or don’t belong. ”

Even the most competitive and resourceful individuals experience imposter syndrome and feelings of inadequacy.

Embrace your uniqueness, and if being yourself makes you the "black sheep," take pride in that. Your journey is your own, and finding acceptance in who you are will empower you as you navigate your path.

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